The Meaning of Flowers in Funerals: A Tribute Through Blooms

Cecile Walters Trotter • September 13, 2024

The History and Cultural Significance of Sending Sympathy Flowers

Flowers have long been a symbol of life, love, and remembrance. At funerals, they hold special significance, offering comfort, expressing emotions, and honoring the life of the deceased. Each type of flower chosen for a funeral carries its own unique meaning, adding depth and sentiment to the farewell.

The tradition of sending flowers as a sympathy gift dates back centuries and spans various cultures. In ancient times, flowers were used at funerals to mask the odor of the body, but over time, their role evolved into one of symbolic comfort and support. In Victorian England, flowers were sent as a discreet way to communicate emotions that were often too difficult to express openly. Today, this practice continues around the world as a way to offer condolences, express solidarity, and provide a source of comfort to grieving families. The act of sending sympathy flowers serves not only as a gesture of respect but also as a way of offering emotional support, showing that the family is in the sender's thoughts during a difficult time.

Lilies: Purity and Peace

Lilies are one of the most traditional flowers seen at funerals. They represent the restored innocence of the soul of the departed. White lilies, in particular, symbolize purity and peace, offering a message of hope and serenity to grieving families.

Roses: Love and Respect

Roses are often used to convey love, making them a fitting tribute in funeral arrangements. Red roses symbolize deep love and respect, while white roses stand for purity and reverence. Yellow roses are sometimes chosen to signify strong friendship and affection, showing the bonds that transcend even death.

Carnations: Remembrance and Admiration

Carnations are another popular flower at funerals. Their durability makes them a lasting tribute to the memory of the deceased. Red carnations express admiration, pink carnations are a symbol of remembrance, and white carnations represent pure love and innocence.

Chrysanthemums: Honor and Farewell

In many cultures, chrysanthemums are specifically associated with death and funerals. In Europe, they symbolize grief and are often used to honor the deceased. In Asia, chrysanthemums signify rebirth and are a positive symbol of saying farewell to the physical presence while recognizing the soul’s journey.

Orchids: Eternal Love

Orchids are less traditional but have become increasingly popular in funeral arrangements. They symbolize eternal love and offer a lasting message of beauty and strength. White and pink orchids, in particular, are often chosen to express sympathy and remembrance.

Not only the variety of flower can provoke emotional symbolism, but the colors of flowers used in funeral arrangements carry specific meanings and can convey different emotions or messages as well. Here's a brief guide to what the most common flower colors represent in funeral settings:

White: Purity and Peace

White flowers are often used in funeral arrangements as they symbolize purity, innocence, and peace. They are commonly associated with reverence and humility, making them a fitting choice for honoring the memory of the deceased in a calm and respectful way.

Red: Love and Grief

Red flowers, especially red roses, are a symbol of deep love, respect, and admiration. They can also represent the intense grief felt by those mourning the loss. Red is a powerful color that reflects the strong emotional bonds between the deceased and their loved ones.

Pink: Grace and Sympathy

Pink flowers are softer and symbolize grace, compassion, and sympathy. They are often used to convey gentler emotions, such as fondness and admiration, making them a suitable choice for memorials where the tone is more reflective or celebratory of life.

Yellow: Friendship and Remembrance

Yellow flowers can represent strong bonds of friendship, warmth, and remembrance. While they are less traditional in funeral settings, they are sometimes chosen to honor a life filled with joy and positivity, or to reflect the deceased's bright personality.

Purple: Dignity and Respect

Purple flowers are often associated with dignity, respect, and spiritual awareness. They can symbolize a tribute to someone who led a life of honor and wisdom. Purple is also considered a regal color, making it fitting for paying tribute to an admired figure.

Blue: Peace and Comfort

Blue flowers are less common in funeral arrangements but are sometimes used to convey feelings of peace, calm, and comfort. Blue represents serenity and can be a soothing presence in memorial services, especially for grieving families.

Orange: Enthusiasm and Celebration

Orange flowers may be used in more modern or celebratory funeral services, symbolizing enthusiasm, passion, and a zest for life. Though less traditional, they can serve as a bright tribute to someone who lived their life with energy and joy.

The color of flowers in a funeral arrangement can provide an additional layer of meaning, making them a personal and thoughtful tribute to the life being honored.

Each flower used in a funeral arrangement brings its own meaning, whether it’s to express love, admiration, or hope. Selecting the right flowers for a service not only offers beauty but also conveys heartfelt emotions, providing comfort to those grieving while paying tribute to the life that was lost. When planning a funeral, consider the symbolism behind the flowers as a meaningful way to honor your loved one.

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How Writing Thank You Cards Can Help You Heal After Loss

By Cecile Walters Trotter • August 10, 2023

The act of writing thank you cards is a powerful gesture that can have a significant impact on both the sender and receiver. Not only is it considered good manners, but in the midst of grief, it's important not to overlook the power of gratitude and the impact that a simple thank you note can have. Sending thank you notes after a funeral is a thoughtful and respectful gesture that can provide comfort and closure to both the bereaved and those who attended the service. It's a way to express gratitude for the support and kindness shown during a difficult time, and to acknowledge the contributions and memories of the loved one who has passed. Typically thank you notes are sent to all who participated in the funeral, including clergy, pallbearers, and lectors; and to those people who sent flowers, food, or charitable contributions in memory of your loved one. In addition to being a meaningful way to show appreciation, thank you notes can also serve as a way to stay connected with family and friends after the funeral. By taking the time to write a personal message, you can strengthen relationships and build a sense of community during a time of grieving. When writing a thank you note after a funeral, it's important to keep a few things in mind. First, be sincere and heartfelt in your message, expressing your gratitude in a way that feels authentic and true to your emotions. Second, be specific and personal in your note, referencing specific acts of kindness or words of comfort that were particularly meaningful to you. And finally, be timely in your response, sending your note within a few weeks of the funeral to ensure that it is received and appreciated. Overall, sending thank you notes after a funeral is a simple yet powerful way to show gratitude and compassion during a difficult time. By taking the time to express your appreciation, you can honor the memory of your loved one and strengthen the bonds of friendship and family that support you through life's challenges. Here are some examples of sentiments expressed: "Please accept our sincere thanks for (the card, flowers, etc.) you sent in memory of my mother. It is only the generosity of good friends like you that has gotten us through this very difficult time. Thank you Respectfully yours," "I know how much (the deceased) enjoyed spending time with you volunteering at (name of charity). Your thoughtful contribution to (name of charity) certainly honors her memory. Thank you for supporting such a wonderful organization in her name. With sincere appreciation," "Your love and support during this difficult time has made the seemingly unbearable, bearable. Thank you for the gorgeous white floral stand you sent to the funeral home. I know that (deceased) would have loved them. I appreciate your thoughtfulness. Warmly," "On behalf of the entire family, please accept our appreciation for the (food items) sent to the visitation at the funeral home. We all needed the nourishment and comfort it provided. It was all so delicious, and we are deeply grateful for your kindness. Sincerely," ---- In closing, it is important to remember that there is no deadline on when to send a thank you card. While it may seem like another task that must be completed immediately, taking the time to sincerely write out your gratitude to friends and neighbors will help move you along in your grief journey much more than rushing through this opportunity for thoughtful communication.

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What to Wear to a Funeral: A Guide

By Cecile Walters Trotter • February 9, 2023

Funerals are a time to pay respects to the deceased and their family.Over the years societal norms on funeral attire have shifted to more casual garments. While It’s not uncommon to see blue jeans and sandals, funeral attendees should consider the message their clothing choices send. Let’s discuss what appropriate funeral attire looks like so you can honor the deceased and their family, and not draw attention away from the true reason of the gathering. Length of Clothing Matters Ladies: More so than the color of the garment, length still matters when it comes to funeral attire. Mini skirts and low-cut tops should be left in the closet for other social events. Tops that cover arms are preferred, and should not be too tight fitting. If you want to wear something more creative than a basic dress or pantsuit, consider a blouse with an ankle-length skirt or an ankle-length maxi dress instead of shorts or capris. The key here is to keep it modest and appropriate for all audiences, regardless of how casual the deceased may have been in life. Rethink Denim Denim jeans have come a long way from the everyday work pants, darker-washed denim especially. No matter how much they cost, ripped jeans, (whether at the thigh, knee, or hem) should be reconsidered, as should skinny jeans. Just because something is expensive does not mean it is respectful. If you must wear denim, go for a dark color that shows no wear in the knees or back pockets, and is not fraying at the hem. A better alternative would be to opt for dress pants, khakis, nice leggings, or even a skirt depending on your comfort level and what feel appropriate for your body type. It's also important to remember that any colors worn should be muted colors - nothing bright or flashy - as this would distract from the somber atmosphere at the service. Black is customary, but other neutral colors such as navy, gray, brown and dark green are also quite nice. Accessories Should Be Low Key As Well Your jewelry should also be kept simple when attending funerals. Stick with small pieces such as stud earrings, small pendants on delicate chains, classic watches, etc., to avoid drawing attention away from what really matters during this time—being respectful to yourself and those around you while honoring the memory of the deceased person in attendance. Shoes should also be conservative – close-toed pumps or flats are always acceptable choices. Sandals are generally discouraged unless they are very formal sandals made of leather rather than plastic or rubber materials. This goes for men as well – dress shoes are always best as sneakers can look too casual for a funeral setting. Funerals are times of reflection and respect for both ourselves and those who have passed away before us. Selecting an outfit in dark colors that aren't too revealing—and if possible opt for something made from natural fabrics like cotton over synthetic ones—will help make sure you look dignified while paying your respects at a funeral service. Dressing appropriately for funerals can be tricky but following these guidelines will help ensure you look respectable while showing respect to the family and the deceased.